Collaboration: the secret sauce of relationship-based marketing
Marketing That Feels Like Hanging Out With Friends
Marketing doesn’t have to feel transactional, exhausting, or forced. In fact, when done right, it can feel just like hanging out with friends. Relationship marketing is about building meaningful, mutually supportive connections—not chasing followers or running endless social media or ad campaigns.
For coaches, consultants, and therapists, this approach aligns naturally with your strengths: you excel at creating connection, listening deeply, and nurturing trust. By leaning into those skills, marketing stops being a chore and actually becomes fun.
However, I’ve spoken to a fair number of people now who were initially attracted by the idea of relationship based marketing but then gave up with it when they weren’t seeing results. Having probed a bit further, I think that the cause behind it ‘not working’ was not leveraging the power of collaborations. If you’ve found yourself having virtual coffees that go nowhere and you feel like networking isn’t yielding the kinds of business relationships you were hoping for, read on.
From Mass Marketing to Ecologies of Care
Traditional marketing often feels transactional: “give-to-get,” pushy, and one-size-fits-all. But what if we reimagined marketing like an ecosystem of care?
Organic: marketing grows naturally from your relationships and reputation.
Relational: you prioritize connection over conversions.
Sustainable: efforts compound over time rather than burning you out.
Generative: everyone involved benefits—from you to your clients to your collaborators.
This approach is about creating a network of people who support you and whom you support in return. We all know that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ - it’s just as true that it takes a village to build a business.
I tend to refer to this approach as relationship-based marketing (others might call it referral marketing, partnership marketing or joint venture marketing) and it’s what I recommend as the best strategy for most coaches, consultants and therapists (and it’s what I do in my own business).
Collaboration Over Competition
One of the most powerful ways to build this village is through collaboration. Collaboration isn’t about audience size or transactional “give me exposure” strategies—it’s about values alignment and complementary strengths.
Partner with someone whose work and values align with yours, even if their audience is smaller or very different from yours.
By the same token, you can partner with someone whose audience is much bigger than yours, as long as you have a good values match, and your POV and expertise fills a gap in their content.
Mix outward-facing collaborations (by this I mean collabs with a public dimension, like podcasts, joint workshops, or newsletter swaps) with inward-facing collaborations (so, by contrast, these have no public dimension: they might be peer masterminds, private small group coworking sessions, accountability partnerships). Public collabs grow your audience, private ones deepen connections. And even the ‘public’ collabs have a ‘private’ dimension (e.g. the ‘pre-chat’ before you record a podcast interview and the post-interview follow-up emails between you and the host are all gently growing a private relationship between you that may continue to build over time).
Focus on creating experiences where potential collaborators or clients can directly experience your expertise, rather than just hearing about it.
By blending these approaches, you cultivate a network of reciprocity —a community that naturally amplifies your work. One of the side-effects of this kind of community is that you should find you start receiving more referrals and recommendations, which, over time, will transform your business so that you don’t need to do anywhere near as much ‘active’ marketing.
Small, Intentional Acts Build Big Impact
You don’t need to attend endless virtual coffees or feel awkward attending networking events. Instead, focus on small, deliberate actions that strengthen your connections:
Check in with old contacts and dormant ties (this is the networking research term for people you’ve lost contact with, but used to be close to).
Connect people in your network who might benefit from knowing one another.
Share resources, introductions, or opportunities without expecting immediate return.
Express admiration or appreciation for someone’s work and follow up to maintain that relationship.
Deepen your relationships by bringing in collaboration ideas.
These small, consistent efforts compound into a supportive community that naturally sustains your business. This also has the benefit that your marketing activities don’t feel ‘salesy’ or pushy - they’re just an enjoyable part of your daily or weekly business routines.
Reciprocity: The Hidden Power of Relationship Marketing
Humans love helping others. Research on the “helper’s high” shows that helping releases oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine—feel-good chemicals that strengthen bonds. When you invite someone to collaborate or ask for a small favor, it doesn’t have to feel awkward; it’s relationship-building in action and the chances are, helping you will give them a little boost for the day.
Equally, you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) go into every potential new relationship with an agenda for how you want that person to help you. Sometimes the flow of help will be mostly one-way, from you to them, and that’s fine (as long as you don’t feel manipulated or resentful). What you’re looking for is an overall balance - across all your business relationships - so that you’re getting back more or less an even exchange for all you’re giving. It just probably won’t work out as a strict 50:50 exchange with each individual person.
Think of your marketing like scattering seeds in a wildflower meadow—you don’t know exactly which seeds will bloom, but with time, a beautiful ecosystem emerges.
As the biologist Robin Wall Kimmerer puts it, “Gratitude and reciprocity are the currency of a gift economy, and they have the remarkable property of multiplying with every exchange".
Your First Steps to a Community-Centered Business
Audit your current relationships: Who in your network could be a collaborator or referral source? When were you last in touch with them? What could you do that would be helpful for them? Don’t go into this expecting a quid pro quo - but if you help enough people who are in a position to help you, it’s highly unlikely that you won’t see any benefit from your actions.
Plan small, intentional touches: Emails, introductions, or check-ins that nurture your connections.
Offer experiences, not just content: Workshops, mini coaching sessions, or collaborative projects that let others experience your work firsthand.
Mix private and public collaborations: Support your existing community while also reaching out to new, aligned partners.
By prioritizing community and collaboration, your marketing becomes less about chasing clients and more about cultivating connection—which naturally leads to growth, referrals, and sustainable success.
To return to Robin Wall Kimmerer, whom I quoted earlier in this piece, “all flourishing is mutual”.
If you’re ready to take the first step in creating your business village, check out my Mentorship, so you can get my support to start building a supportive, collaborative network that grows your business with ease.